Sunday, November 16, 2008

Youngest child syndrome vent

My two older brothers and sister are my parents' prized possessions. The myth that "the youngest child gets whatever they want" needs to be put to rest. I am the youngest of four and things just don't go my way. Although, I'm the child that's never been arrested, always received good grades, and never had a baby before 18, I get the worst treatment. And the sibling that I'm at most "competition" with is my oldest brother. Pretty odd, huh. Well...things go a little something like this:
When I have a problem, whether financial or relationship related, my mom tells me to hang in there and stick it out. 
Whenever my 30-something year old brother has a problem--with anything--my mom makes him soup, puts him up in a hotel, so he can "get away," for a while, and gives him all her extra money.  She does this to, make herself "feel better" so she can "rest at night." 
What my mother doesn't know is that she's an enabler and my brother is a user. He purposely doesn't succeed in life because he knows that my mother will be there to bail him out of life's curve balls. He's never had steady work because my mom pays all his bills.  When his wife and him are in the middle of an argument, he calls my mother so she can put in her two cents and decide on a winner. My brother doesn't follow through with anything because he knows that my mom will scrape up the pieces and attempt to put the messy puzzle back together. 
Oh, and don't ever let me shed light on the situation. When I voice my opinion about the specialty treatment that my broken brother receives, I pretty much get eaten alive. She says that all of us (her children) receive the same attention and are equally important. Only half of that statement is true. I remind her of times when I went through drastic changes and how she was rarely around to help. She denies her not being around to help, and gives me the cold shoulder for the rest of the evening; assisting with the fact that she favors my brother over me. It sucks that me and my mothers relationship revolves around my brother. When things in his life are going good, her and I get along. And when things are going sour, we're at eachother's necks, like worst enemies. In time, all I can hope is that my brother gets his life together so my mother and I can get along and be that great mother-daughter team, that my older sister and her are. 

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